I never meant to hurt you
by Diny O'Neill
Summary: A story about Catherine and Grissom...


1 I never meant to hurt you  
  
1.1 Author: Sam O'Neill  
  
Email: samoneill@uni.de  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Rating: G ?? PG ??  
  
Status: Complete  
  
Category: Romance (Catherine/Gil)  
  
Summary: Story about Catherine and Grissom…  
  
Disclaimer: I do not owe any of the characters of CSI!  
  
Authors Note: Please forgive me if there are grammar or other mistakes. It's not very easy to write an english FF if you're german. But I did write an english one because I love to read english FF and I like them more than german.  
  
And this is my first Fan Fiction ever! Please send Feedback!!!! PLEASE!!!  
  
  
  
1.1.1.1 Tuesday evening, 8.00 pm  
  
The stillness in the CSI building was almost alarming. There was no victim of a murder or a abuse for the last four days and that was not normal.  
  
Sara, Nick and Warrick sat in a room and played poker. Sara won for the 4th time but the boys wanted to go on.  
  
Grissom sat in his bureau and got the last piece of his paperwork done.  
  
Catherine walked around the hall. She had nothing to do. At least her divorce with Eddie was over and Lindsay was at her best friend for a week.  
  
Grissom was just ready with his paperwork as Catherine walked in.  
  
"Hi Griss!" Catherine said.  
  
"Oh, hi Cath." he answered.  
  
Catherine walked around his room.  
  
"You have no idea what to do now, right?" he asked her.  
  
"Yeah. I already finished my paperwork, I don't want to go home now and here's nothing to do for me. It wasn't that boring since a long time ago."  
  
"I know what you mean. I just got my stuff done."  
  
The stillness was all over again. Then there was a sound that came from Grissom again.  
  
"I've an idea. The three kids are playing poker and I'm a little bit hungry. So, do you wanna come with me?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Oh, come on, only dinner!"  
  
"Only dinner?"  
  
"Yes, but if you want a date…"  
  
"It's okay, only dinner." Catherine's grinned.  
  
"Great, then lets go!"  
  
  
  
1.1.1.2 Later that evening  
  
Catherine and Grissom arrived at the restaurant and placed themselves at a table.  
  
Since they first met, Gil had a little crush on her. He knew she was married but now she was not anymore. He didn't know about her feelings for him, but his grew every time they spend some time together.  
  
For Catherine, Gil was a very good friend, her best friend and she knew very well that there were also other feelings for him.  
  
They sat there, ate their dinner and talked about everything, expect their feelings.  
  
"Lindsay's at her best friend Mandy for a few days and now the house is so empty without her. I know it's not for long and I have time for myself but I miss her and that's the reason why I won't go home."  
  
"She'll be back soon and then you wish you could have a few days for yourself."  
  
"No Gil, it's not like this. I know she can be a little bit pithy but she's my little girl."  
  
"Yes, she can be a little bit pithy but she is really sweet."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
  
  
1.1.1.3 That night, 23.30 pm  
  
After dinner Gil brought Catherine back to her house and walked her to the front door.  
  
"Thanks Griss, it was a nice evening!"  
  
"This evening wouldn't have been so nice, if you hadn't been there with me."  
  
Catherine smiled.  
  
"Do you want a coffee or something else?"  
  
"I don't know. Is it a date, yet?"  
  
She grinned, "I don't know. Do you want it to be?"  
  
Griss laughed, "I don't know."  
  
"So do you want a coffee or not?"  
  
"Sorry, but it's late and I'm tired, maybe because of too little work."  
  
They both grinned.  
  
Then they stood there in silence. You could hear the wind in the trees. They stood there, looking into each others eyes. They both knew it. They both wanted it. Then Gil leant forward. Catherine draw back but then their lips met. The kiss was slow and soft, but intensive. They didn't want to stop it because it changed everything. They knew each other for so long but this was new and it changed their relationship so much. Suddenly they broke apart. They stared at each other and then, without a moment of thought, Grissom turned around and ran away. Catherine stood there for a few minutes. She couldn't believe it. It was such a nice evening and then the kiss. Well, the kiss wasn't bad, but then he turned around and left her alone. She couldn't believe it, no she couldn't. Then, all the bad memories of Eddie came back, how he left her alone, how he left Lindsay alone. How could he do this? Tears began to fell, while she sat down on the ground.  
  
Gil sat in his Jeep. He couldn't believe what he just did. 'But that was the right thing to do, walk away' he thought. He liked Catherine more than anybody else, but they were friends, they worked together and he didn't want to loose her as his friend. He made himself believe, that this was the right thing to do.  
  
  
  
1.1.1.4 The next day, 10.00 am  
  
Griss sat on his desk. He couldn't sleep the whole night and now he was totally absent – minded. He thought about her, how beautiful she was, how her eyes shined and about the kiss. The KISS! He thought about this great moment, when nothing else had mattered. And then he remembered how he left her alone, HER, the most important woman in his life. He could kick his ass, if he could. Why on earth did he think that this was the right thing to do? It was the worst thing to do! He was so stupid, he had to apologise, he had to beg on his knees before her. Maybe she'll forgive him, but maybe she won't.  
  
Her, that was all he could think of, Catherine Willows.  
  
Sara walked in, "Hey Griss"  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
"Hello Grissom? Somebody there?"  
  
Then he reacted, "Hm…what…oh Sara! Sorry, what do you want?"  
  
She looked sceptically, "Have you seen Catherine?"  
  
"She isn't here? Oh…I haven't seen her, sorry."  
  
"Well, she should be here three hours ago and she didn't call. I tried it at her home and mobile but she didn't put up. Maybe I should go and see after her."  
  
"Oh no, I mean, I'll go and see if she's at home."  
  
"Why you? I can do that!"  
  
"Sara! I'll do it, okay? Call me if there's something important!"  
  
"Yes, okay. See ya."  
  
Grissom walked away as Nick came. "Where's he going?"  
  
"Catherine."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I told him she's not here and that I'll go and see if she's at home…"  
  
"And?"  
  
"And…he wanted to go."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Ya."  
  
"Well, you wanna play poker?"  
  
  
  
1.1.1.5 At Catherine's  
  
Catherine sat on her couch. The last night was terrible. Every time she thought about him and the kiss her eyes became wet and the tears fell again. After Eddie, she thought she wouldn't be happy again. Who on earth would love an ex-stripper who is now a crime scene investigator with a young daughter. No, she never thought it could be. But now she had these feelings she never had before and Gil Grissom was the one who caused them every day. God, how she loved this guy. But did he love her? She didn't think so. She thought it for a moment, when he kissed her, but then he left. She didn't understand him. He was the one who helped her most during the divorce and he knew very well what Eddie did and how much it hurt her. And now he did the same. He hurt her, he gave her the feeling, that she was nothing, nobody important. She didn't want to go to the CSI, she didn't want to see him, she didn't want to be near to him.  
  
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, but she ignored it.  
  
Then she heard his voice.  
  
"Catherine? Hello? I know you're at home, so please open the door!"  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"Please! We have to talk!"  
  
"No!" she was angry.  
  
"Why not? Oh, come on, I have to talk to you!"  
  
"Don't you know what a NO means?" yes she was angry.  
  
"Cath, I'm sorry! Really, I am! So please open the door and let me in!"  
  
This time she didn't answer.  
  
"Damn! Catherine! I'll stay in front of your door as long as I have to!"  
  
Still no answer.  
  
"Oh, come on, don't you think that's a little bit childish…"  
  
Suddenly he stopped as Catherine opened the door.  
  
"You're an asshole!" she said, then she turned around to her couch and let the door open. Grissom went inside.  
  
"So, Mr. Grissom, you want to talk? Then you've got the chance…talk!" Cath sat on her Couch and Gil sat on a chair across from her.  
  
"Last night…", he began, "…I was an idiot!"  
  
"Oh…really?" she interrupted.  
  
"I didn't think about what I was doing…I mean, we're friends and colleagues and I didn't want to ruin our relationship…"  
  
"Oh, I think for now you've done very well!"  
  
"Cath…please…I am really sorry…you're right, I'm an asshole, but please…forgive me!"  
  
He stared at her. She shook her head, she actually trusted him but he disappointed her. She didn't knew what to believe.  
  
"Grissom! Do you know, what you did? How I felt? You're the only person who know about my feelings, I mean after the divorce and the psycho trash with Eddie. You were there for me, you're my best friend over the years and I trust you with my life and even Lindsay's. And know you did this to me…you…you disappointed me Gil! And I never thought you could do that."  
  
Now, she stared at him and he put his hands over his face. Then he looked up and with a seriously and lovely look, he looked Catherine straight into her eyes and into her soul.  
  
"Catherine…please believe me…I never…never meant to hurt you! You mean so much to me and I don't want to lose you! I don't want to live without you or with you hating me! I…I think…I…I think I love you!"  
  
Catherine had tears in her eyes.  
  
"You…you think you love me?"  
  
"No, I know I love you!"  
  
A single tear found it's way from Catherine's eye and soon another one followed. Gil went to the couch and sat down next to her. He looked deep into her eyes.  
  
"Gil?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
It's been so long since a man told her these three words 'I love you' and meant what he said. She was happy and smiled. Softly he kissed one tear away from her cheek and she closed her eyes.  
  
"Gil?"  
  
"Yes." He grinned.  
  
"You know what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think I love you, too!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Why 'oh'?"  
  
"Because…I don't know, I just wanted to say something and 'oh' was the first thing that came to my mind and…"  
  
He stopped when he felt her lips on his. It felt good. It felt really good and much better then the night before. Cause he knew, that he wouldn't run away this time and he knew he loved her and she loved him.  
  
"…and…"  
  
"Gil!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Stop talking and kiss me!"  
  
They sat there for a long time. They kissed and they talked, nothing else. They wanted to start slow, with a date and a goodnight-kiss and nobody who ran away…  
  
  
  
FIN  
  
Hope you liked it!!!  
  
Reviews!!! 


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